money can’t buy happiness

We’ve all heard that money can’t buy

happiness, but most people don’t really believe

it.

More money won’t make me happy—are you

nuts? Come on, if I hit the lotto, I could pay off

all of my debt, quit my crappy job, do what

I’ve always wanted to do, and still have plenty

to give to my family and charities. You’re

telling me that wouldn’t make me happier?

Yes. It’s surprising but true. Lots of studies

have been done on this. A year after winning,

lottery jackpot winners are no happier than

they were before they won. Amazingly, the

same is true for people who are in terrible

accidents and suddenly paralyzed: a year later,

they’re no less happy than before.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, do you

blow your top? Well, who wouldn’t—they could

have killed someone! That’s fear, too—you’re

angry because they put you in danger.

Most unpleasant feelings boil down to fear. If

you’re stressed about work or money, your

relationships, what people think of you, or all

the things you have to do, it all comes down to

fear. This is important: fear is the enemy of

happiness.

Circumstances are not what makes us happy

or unhappy. Think about it: if money was

enough to make us happy, there should be a

lot of people walking around saying, “Wow,

thank God I got that last raise! Now I have

enough money, and I am happy!” Yet I’ve

never heard anyone say that. Most rich people

seem to be quite unhappy, in fact. If fortune or

fame worked, you would never see movie stars

and rock musicians with drug problems—they’d

be too happy to be interested in drugs.

Similarly, possessions do not cause happiness.

If they did, wouldn’t we be happy by now? I,

for one, have bought a lot of awesome things,

but the only ones that have made a long-term

difference are the ones that are involved in

doing something: my spinning wheel, my

kayak, my convertible. The things themselves

don’t matter much, but doing fun things with

them adds joy to my life.

Another thing that won’t make you happy is

whitewashing over reality and feeding yourself

a lot of bogus affirmations that you know

aren’t true. Any philosophy that requires you

to deny reality is a false path. In fact, studies

have shown that insincerity is every bit as bad

for your heart as anger Your body feels the

tension between the truth and the way you’re

acting, and finds it very destructive. It’s

important to look for the good in a situation,

but it’s even more important to be real.