Happiness Tool : Giving

Happiness Tool : Giving

Remember, love leaves no room for fear in

your brain. True giving from the heart is an

expression of love. It’s also an expression of

gratitude—out of the fullness of what you

have, you spread good to someone else.

Giving feels good, and it creates positive

feelings in recipients, too. They feel gratitude

and warmth, which they reflect back to you

and radiate out into the world. It starts a

contagious upward spiral of positivity. It also

makes you feel one with the universe. Whereas

simple pleasures and having fun fade, doing

good for someone else has a more lasting

effect.

That’s the awesome part of giving. It’s very

powerful for increasing your happiness and

positivity.

It only works if it’s true giving from the heart,

though. A lot of people make the mistake of

thinking they’re giving when they do

something out of a sense of obligation, or do

something they don’t want to do for someone

else as a “sacrifice.” In fact, I used to think

those were the only gifts that counted—that if I

wasn’t suffering some in the giving, it was

really a gift to myself, not a gift to the other

person. If you think this, let me tell you,

you’ve got it all backwards.

Giving true gifts requires a certain amount of

strength. If you dwell in fear, you don’t have

love to give. Keep shifting yourself from the

fear mode to love by practicing gratitude and

the other exercises mentioned above. You can

also take a shortcut by starting with very tiny

gifts. Try to put yourself in the other person’s

place and feel compassion for him or her, then

step in with a smile. For example, if you see

someone carrying a lot of stuff toward a

building, it’s easy to think of a time when

you’ve had a lot of things to carry and how

nice it would have been to have some help.

Then smile and open the door for him or her. It

costs you nothing but makes a big difference

to the person carrying the boxes! Often, the

person will smile and thank you, and a warm

feeling will pass between you. Even if not,

though, remember how difficult it is to carry so

many things, assume the person is in a big

hurry to put it all down and would have

thanked you if his or her arms didn’t hurt so

much, and continue feeling good about doing

something nice.

Tiny acts of kindness like opening the door for

someone are an excellent way to start an

upward spiral of positivity. (Another good one

is letting the person with only two things go

ahead in the checkout line.) Actions like this

are so small, they cost you almost nothing. You

don’t need a big reserve of love to draw from.

Yet they often mean so much to the recipient,

they can leave you both feeling good all day.

As you stop doing things you resent and build

a habit of giving tiny gifts when you can, you

will find that your love and positivity grow. You

can build up to doing bigger and bigger things

out of the overflowing love in your heart. Don’t

push yourself—let it happen naturally. Do

things when you feel a pull of desire to do

them. This will keep you drawing from love and

increasing your capacity over time.

You can give best of all when you combine

your passions and strengths with a cause you

care about. The power of multiple sources of

positive energy will cause a contagious upward

spiral that will affect people around you and

build through you. That is something to strive